Ok, this is just plain hysterical. And insightful. And both insightfully hysterical and hysterically insightful.
Here's a taste, read the whole thing for yourself.
50. "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."
- Rick Cook
38. "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense."
- E.W. Dijkstra
17. "If McDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and the response would be, 'We're sorry, here's a coupon for two more.' "
- Mark Minasi
6. "The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late."
- Seymour Cray