Whenever I'm feeling lazy about digging up something for these weekly (yes, I did just type weakly and then correct myself) posts, I always know that The Onion will save my bacon. And who knows, maybe one day The Bacon will save my onion.
In any case, submitted for your approval, Pop Culture Expert Surprisingly Not Ashamed Of Self.
Shelham, who spends 10 hours every day consuming news updates on various entertainers and then commenting on their activities on an entertainment website, has reportedly shown no signs of humiliation or self-hatred over the way she spends the bulk of her time, and is also apparently not disgusted by the fact that this is actually what she does with her life.
"Basically, I like to look at what's going on in pop culture and comment on it with a sort of fresh, wry voice," said Shelham, who by all accounts still possesses the ability to look at herself in the mirror every morning. "I try to find things that I think are really lame and vacuous and then just tear them apart."
"Say what you will about Perez Hilton's tackiness, but you have to respect what he's built," she said. "You know, I did a parody of him once? Kim Kardashian re-tweeted it."
(A great big No-Prize for anyone that catches the "submitted for your approval" reference.)