Ah, but maybe he would if they were Cthulhu plushies!
Check this out from Sci Fi Wire: 14 great Cthulhu toys that make devouring souls fun!
H.P. Lovecraft's elder god Cthulhu is supposed to be terrifying, hideous and awe-inspiring--but whoever knew he could be this darn cute? Check out 14 toys that take a slimy monster and turn it cuddly.
It's sick, twisted fun. My favourite is the Cthulhu Santa, but the wall trophy, suction cup, plush slippers and "My Little Pony Cthulhu" are all great too.